The birth I had, not the birth I planned.

Every woman has a different story with each pregnancy and delivery she experiences. This was my experience when I had my first child, a daughter, in fall of 2007.

When my husband and I realized we were pregnant my general physician referred me to an OB/GYN that came highly recommended. I was very happy with the majority of the doctors I saw during my nine month introduction to this particular practice and enjoyed each appointment with my primary doctor as he helped me understand what was normal and what was not about having a baby. He was always happy to answer any question, no matter how strange.

My baby was a week late and my doctor admitted me to the hospital around 7:00pm and induced labor because my amniotic fluid was getting low after baby's over-stay. After a dose of cervidil and an I.V. of pitocin my birthing plan went out the window. So much for no intervention and drugs. Once the pitocin set in and my contractions started hitting on top of each other at 2:00am, I was given narcotics for the pain so I could sleep.

The following morning my contractions were back and painful. After breaking my water and inserting a catheter to add fluid into my amniotic sac to bouy the baby, the unthinkable occurred. Without enough fluid between me and my baby the pressure of the pitocin induced contractions contributed to a compressing of the cord causing the baby's heart rate to drop. I am told that this happened briefly and she stabilized quickly. But around 7:00am the baby's heart rate decelerated again, much more severely the second time as her heart rate did not quickly come back up.

I myself was unaware of this drop as alarms went off on the entire floor. I was watching the monitor screen for my contractions as a single contraction began to peak for the third time without actually coming down. As I threw up repeatedly and attempted to break the hand of my husband on my right and my father on my left I was unaware of the blaring alarms until the room filled with people.

I was poked, flipped and prodded until the baby's heart rate came back up and my doctor informed me it was time to have a baby. Within seconds I was whisked out of the room and toward the operating room. When we arrived at the operating room everything seemed to slow down. With my baby's heart rate now under control, I was able to take my time climbing from my nice rolling bed onto the operating table. It was a very surreal fifteen minutes or so as I was given a spinal injection to numb my body from the chest down and settled onto the table as the warm feeling from the medicine spread through my lower body to my toes.

As I lay on the table talking to the doctors and nurses I felt completely detached from the situation. I was about to have a baby and I felt as if I were a bystander, not directly involved in any way.

I felt a tickle across my tummy and realized that in my numb state what I was actually feeling was the beginning of my Cesarean section surgery. In that moment I became complete aware of my surroundings and frantically asked for my husband.

He appeared next to me as if by magic, to my great relief, and we looked into each others eyes as if we were both wondering if we were having the same terrifying and surreal dream. We were both excited to find out who we were about to meet, as we had made it nine months without peeking at the sex of this wonderful gift growing inside of me.

A minute later I heard the doctor tell my husband to look and see the baby. My husband stood and peeked over the curtain only to sit down hard and tell me, "It's Lilia" as his eyes misted over. A moment later, or maybe an eternity, I heard the most beautiful sound as our daughter took a large breath and told the whole room what she thought of the cold air outside of mommy's warm tummy.

She was whisked away from me and cleaned up. They handed my husband our daughter and he cradled her in his hands and held her close to me as he whispered, "I'm your Daddy." At which point she peed down the front of his scrubs forever marking him as hers.

Then she and Daddy headed off to the nursery for a bath and weigh in. I remember lying there in that cold room, the doctors telling me what a great job I did. Other than lay really still, I wasn't sure just what I had done even then.

After I was all stitched up I was wheeled on a bed back to my room and covered in warm sheets to help with the chills and shivering post surgery. I had just gone through major surgery, and I would have the scars to prove it, but I would not come to terms with that fact for weeks.

I lay there alone and still in my empty room for what felt like an eternity until, with her grandparents and proud Papa in tow, my daughter was placed in my arms, nearly half an hour old, for the first time.

My dream of her being placed on my chest against my bare skin, of bonding in those first precious moments, was gone but in it's place was the most beautiful little face I had even seen.

My birthing plan did not matter in that moment, my daughter and I were safe and healthy and for that I was and am grateful.

I love my daughter with all my heart, but I forget sometimes that I gave birth to her, that she is truly mine at times, because in fact I didn't give birth to her. That simple, natural, life changing experience was not in the cards for us. I feel as if we would have bonded even more if I had the birth I had planned.

Though I would not change my daughter and I being healthy and safe today because of skilled medical attention, I can't help but wonder, if I had gone with a midwife, if I had been allowed to labor on my own, without intervention, without being induced, would I have had a vaginal birth? Would I have been able to pull my baby onto my chest for the first precious bonding moments together, my skin the first thing she touch after leaving my belly?

I will never know what could have been, but now as we begin looking toward a second child I am more aware of my options this time around. The dangers involved in major surgery, and a c-section is major surgery, only increase each time one is performed. As a woman that wants to have at least three children biologically the risks of repeated cesareans are too great for me and for my children.

As we plan to start trying to our second child I have a different, more informed, game plan in mind. I am already taking prenatal vitamins, I have found a way to have a midwife using my insurance, I plan to take the Bradley method and I have found a hospital where the VBAC rates are high and the c-section rates are low.

As my due date approaches next time around I will be eating spicy food, taking long walks and even perhaps tasting Castor oil for the first time in an effort to not exceed my due date the second time around. Hopefully this, along with good planning, will help me achieve the non-surgical birth that we desire. If not, at least I will know that I did everything I could to have a natural birth experience the second time around.

The Diaper Dilemma

From the moment your baby is born he or she, in addition to all your caresses and hugs, will have one thing against their skin every day, all day, for the next two to four years.

A diaper.

We all know diapers are just part of having a baby. Many new parents grab a package of Huggies or Pampers and are set to go. But is it really that easy?

If a diaper is going to be against your baby's skin for so much time, don't you want to make sure that it's the best diaper it can be?

But what makes a great diaper?

Most parents will tell you leaks are the biggest factor in choosing a diaper. If the diaper leaks, especially with a new baby, you lose the outfit, the blanket and possibly even the sheet on the bed or your own outfit. Luvs brand diapers even advertises “premium leak protection for less”.

Is there more to a great diaper than just whether it leaks? Absolutely!

Today there is an increasing number of diaper brands on the market, it’s not just disposable or cloth anymore. A baby goes through an average of nearly 3,000 diapers in the first year of life. So how do you make sure you are using the best diapers for your new bundle?

Here are some factors to consider when choosing the disposable diaper that's right for you and your little one.

Environmental: Most brands of disposable diapers also contain plastics in the form of polyethylene and polypropylene (which don't break down), wood pulp (which depletes up to 250,000 trees a year), AGM (a gelling substance to prevent leaks), petrolatum and elastics. Which means the average disposable diaper will take 500 years to bread down in a landfill.

Health: The average disposable diaper contains bleached paper pulp (so it looks pretty and white), stearyl alcohol, cellulose tissue, elastic, and perfume. These toxins and perfumes have been linked to asthma. www.diapernet.org/001asthma.htm

Convenience: The convenience in disposables is that they are just that. Disposable. You take one off and throw it away, you put a new one on. Cloth diapers take a bit more work, but not as much as you think. Take one off, bag it for laundry, put a new one on and you're done. Until laundry time. Depending on how great your laundry machines are you may want to consider a diaper service. They didn't disappear with the invention of the disposable diaper and are a great help.

Cost: You can clip coupons, or get them straight from Pampers or Huggies website. There are 'off-brand' diapers out there for the cost-conscious parents as well.

Here are some factors when choosing the cloth diaper that’s right for you and your little one:

Convenience: Some cloth diapers come with a removable liner than you can actually flush down the toilet, leaving less mess and it’s safer for the environment.

Environmental: Although you aren’t contributing to landfills, you need to factor in the extra water and electricity you’ll use in cleaning the cloth diapers.

Health: Cloth diapers don’t contain any more chemicals than you put in them (via perfumes in your detergent or dryer sheets) if you buy organic.

Cost: Once you purchase the initial cloth diapers, you won’t have to keep buying them as with disposables, but you will need to factor in the extra cost in washing and drying then regularly.

A third alternative to consider are diapers like g-Diapers that are a combination of disposable and cloth. This diaper is made up of a cotton ‘pants’ that have a liner in them which is not only disposable, but you can flush it down your toilet, leaving nothing to throw away.

Favorite brands of Great diapers:

Earth’s Best Diapers – organic, made from sustainable resources, no plastic, elastic or chemicals

Nature Babycare – organic, made from sustainable resources, bio-degradable

g-Diapers- organic cotton pants, flushable liner, nothing for the landfills

Brands of Good Diapers we like:

Huggies Natural – organic cotton, hypoallergenic, fragrance free

Finding Your Flock

I stumbled upon a very good question on Mamapedia that I think every Mom and Mom-to-be can relate to at one time or another. "Feeling blah...need advice on daily life." This question was posted by a Mama who found herself lost in Motherhood, feeling isolated. Though she loves being a Mom, she is wondering when she forgot how to be more than Mom.

Whether you move to a new town where your family is possibly states away, you are the first of your girlfriends to marry and start a family, or you get so caught up in being a new parent that you loose touch with your friends, many Moms find themselves feeling lost in being Mom.

Whatever the reason the answer is the same. Behold the Moms Group! Meetup.com is a fabulous place to find a group of Moms who are also going through the same feelings of isolation and understand where you're coming from.

I was a nanny for years before becoming a mother. When I married and had my daughter many of my friends were nannies as well and had since moved to different states. I needed to find new friends, Mama friends that I could relate to at this new stage in my life. I discovered a group that caught my attention called Acton Moms Against Boredom that had been started by a Mom just like me; a stay-at-home Mama feeling isolated. She started the group and it soon grew over 30 Mamas strong.

When my husband and I prepared to move to Los Angeles I went on Meetup.com and found a Moms group beforehand in the L.A. area. L.A. M.I.L.K.s-Mothers I'd Like To Know presented me with a group of Moms just like me, many of them transplants to the area as well. What I discovered in joining this group was wonderful Mamas that made me feel like I was moving toward friends instead of away from them all. I was able to ask advice on everything from teething to where to look for an apartment before I ever met these amazing Mamas face to face.

If you are feeling isolated Mama, whatever the reason, finding the right Moms group can save you from feeling lost in Motherhood. If there is no group in your area, start your own! There are Mamas all around just like you who need other Mamas to talk to, ask advice or just get out of the house with.

BPA-free....what exactly does that mean?

Have you ever taken a sip from your kids sippy cup and been surprised that it tasted like plastic more than like water or juice?

The most likely reason for that is Bisphenol A or BPA for short. This chemical has been used for years as a component of plastics, though it has been suspected of being hazardous since the 1930s. This includes sippy cups and, yes, baby bottles.

Finding the right bottle, with the right nipples, that causes the least amount of gas can be quite a challenge for new parents. Then you find the right bottle for your baby, they are perfect. But are they? Most major baby bottle manufacturers in the U.S. are still in the process of removing Bisphenol A in their products. Since a study was released in 2008 proving that the top 5 companies in the U.S. were using BPA riddled plastic for their baby bottles as well as other items used by children.

Over time as you use these products, the plastic material breaks down and leaches into the liquids they contain. Which means your little one is gradually being exposed to more BPA. Higher temperatures also effect the leaching of this chemical. When exposed to hot liquids, such as heated milk, the leaching occurs 55 times faster.

Studies done in 2007 found that five of the leading bottle manufacturers not only used BPA in their bottles, but that leaching was occurring. Names that have become household, trusted names for many families over the years; Avent, Dr. Brown's, Evenflo, Gerber and Playtex.

So how do you make sure your baby and/or young child is safe? How can you tell if a bottle or cup contains BPA?

Take a look at the bottom of the container, where you will find a plastic designation number 1-7. It looks like a triangle, recycle symbol, with a number in the center. Plastics number 1, 2,4,5 & 6 do not contain Bisphenol A.

However, those containers with a 3 or 7 in that triangle do in fact contain BPA. Those are the bottles you don't want to be using.

So which brands of bottles and sippies are safe? Look for those brands that visibly say on the packaging "No BPA". Munchkin brand bottles and sippies now come with this promise. If you are looking at bottles and sippies that don't say on the packaging, turn it over. If you see a 1, 2, 4 or 5 then at least you know there's no BPA.

Even if you choose BPA free plastic bottles, make it a point not to heat the containers with liquid in them, or leave water bottles in the car where they can get warm. Do not use harsh detergent and hot water when washing as this can increase leaching of chemicals from plastic as well. BPA isn't the only chemical in plastic. It's simply the one we're currently aware of the danger of.

The best baby bottle by far is to go back to the traditional glass bottle, which can be found by a number of companies. Born-free is a highly recommended brand of glass baby bottle that uses silicone nipples and carries a line of silicone sleeves to protect the glass bottle and keep it warm at the same time.

http://www.newbornfree.com/

These are a much safer choice for your little one and for you. They may not feel as convenient as a plastic bottle, but is a fraction more convenience really worth the risk?

When Poo DOESN'T happen

You're busy and on the go, making sure your little one is eating regularly. But what happens when your quick snacks aren't always fruits and veggies?

Poo doesn't happen.

You can't help but feel bad for the little one when they just can't go. Being unable to do what they do best can be very uncomfortable for your baby.

Here are some simple tips to get things flowing naturally again.

First, cut back on those bananas. Bananas, although very healthy for you, can actually cause constipation in babies and small children.

Yogurt on the other hand is very good for digestion. All those natural cultures help her little intestines do what they're supposed to and helps balance things out in there. What should you eat with it to get things flowing?

I know what you're thinking. "Prunes!" "I just need to feed her some prunes or get her to eat some prune juice!" While prunes are very good sources of fiber, the key ingredient to a good poop, there are many other places you can find great fiber to get things flowing. And many kids don't like the taste of prune juice. Do you?

Some of the best poop-rific foods are peas, green beans and apples. Gotta love those apples! Apple juice and applesauce are both wonderful ways to get baby filling that diaper. For some odd reason, whole apples (slices) don't work as well.

I give my daughter green beans or peas and let me tell you, those nice green veggies make for a big green poop! Which is the goal of course!! Whatever the color, nobody wants to be bound up.

Another great tip to help baby make those good poops, in addition to those healthy fruits and veggies, is to make sure she is getting plenty of water. Processing all that good food, running around, just doing all the things her little body does without her realizing it takes a lot of water. Remember, just like you, baby is about 75% water.

You and your little one have water in your blood, your lean muscle tissue and even in your bones. So making sure you have enough water for all of that and to help process that yummy snack she just ate can be a challenge.

Grab yourself a water bottle and top off her sippy cup. Especially with the weather warming up, you can just carry it with you and take a sip every time you see it, and have her take a sip too!

By making a point of getting enough water in both of you, you'll both feel better and constipation with be in the past! Plus you're setting a great example and forming good habits for you both!

On a side note, should your little one be having too loose poops bananas, yogurt, and applesauce are good for balancing that out too!

Who is Stork's Best Friend?

We're glad you asked!

Stork's Best Friend is the perfect ally for any parent expecting a visit from the Stork as well as those recently blessed by a visit.

Started by a Mama that's been through the trenches; the swollen ankles, the car seat search, the stretch marks and the spitting up; we're here to help new Mamas and Daddies on this amazing journey!!

We've got tried and true tips and advice for new parents as our way of paying if forward for all the love and support we got as a new Mama and Daddy!

Now I've taken my experience and rolled it into an even broader way of helping. Through this blog and Stork's Best Friend I'm hoping to help out new Mamas and Daddies every chance I get!!